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Deb Tells AllEXCLUSIVE: Deb interviews self once more, reveals fears about long-term effects of "crazy bug", eating while wig shopping, pros and cons of gainful employment. After over a year's hiatus of producing nothing, Deb, who doesn't smoke, finally sits down at computer to write two pages, double-spaced.
 Couple Makes Peace with Couch. Plush Blue Castro Convertable is queen-sized, fumigated, and ready to be slept on by vistors and friends.
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low rent, living in Manhattan, help ease tension of visits to crazy house 
by DEBORAH SCHWARTZMANHATTAN--Deb Schwartz and Brian Geller are living the dream.  They have made it to Manhattan's chic upper east side, to the fifth floor of a doorman
building with an eastern-themed lobby. Their rent is low, they are both kind of working, and a woman comes once a week
to do their laundry and misplace their belongings.But the cost is great. In exchange, they must live amongst Deb's crazy uncle's clothes, dishes,
aging toiletries, and coarse magazine collection. And visit him in prision every four weeks."This might a be a nightmare for most people," said Schwartz. "At first we thought
so too. We are slowly learning to normalize the situation and my uncle's bizarre behavior."
Uncle Ira, who is 58 with a 37 year-old record of mental illness,
is currently residing in a psychiatric facility on Ward's Island, in a section for the
non-violent criminally insane.Ira is sure he is being held on false pretenses by
a conspiratorial system focused solely on denying him his freedom. A 5' 6"
caucasian male of Jewish heritage, he has often identified himself as African-American,
a certified doctor of medicine, and a high-ranking member of the United States army.
He also denies the existance of mental illness."I was prepared for much worse," said Geller. "But I kind of
like the guy. It's all very sad." When questioned, Geller admitted he did not much enjoy
watching his wife's uncle eat. "He has no teeth. His dentures fit poorly. He talks with his
mouth full. It's a real mess."Initially, Schwartz and Geller had much cleaning up to do. The
apartment was kept for nearly seven years with food, shampoo, and even anti-psychotic
medications where Uncle Ira had last left them."There are still some boxes around, but we've put most of our
stuff away," Schwartz said. "We are renting space in a storage facility. My uncle's large
collection of nude-y magazines keeps our futon company."
For the young couple, the trip to the prison is one of the most difficult aspects of the deal.
The M-35 bus picks up at 125th Street in Harlem and makes a loop around Ward's Island,
which contains three psychiatric facilities, a home for juvinile
delinquents, and a shelter for homeless men. Once they get to their stop, the couple must walk
a full mile to the gates of Kirby Forensics Psychiatric Center.Schwartz noted, "I think 'M-35' stands for 'Mmmm-hmmm!
That's one scary bus ride!' times 35." Geller refused to laugh at his wife's joke on the grounds that
it wasn't funny. Schwartz threatened divorce.“I refuse to stop not-laughing at Deb's jokes,” said Geller.
"If she divorces me, she must realize she will have to make the M-35 bus ride alone."Schwartz and Geller remain happily married. Two Manhattanites,
living precariously, in denile of reality, and loving it. |
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November 2002 |
Is that Deb Writing!?!
The Verdict is In: