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Deb Grants Debcentral Second InterviewSchwartz on Schwartz: Deb interviews self, speaks frankly about finding (and losing) employment, major minor sugery, her recent marriage, and good hair at a good price.
 Goodbye, Futon. Hello, Sleeper Sofa. Move to UpperEastSide forces couple to put futon in storage. Visitors will now have to sleep on Uncle Ira's blue couch.
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but not before hitting rock bottom 
by DEBORAH SCHWARTZNEW YORK CITY--First it was Brian's toe surgery. Then Deb getting laid off. Then Brian's mom's diagnosis of cancer. Just when the couple decided their luck had to get better, they were offered the unique opportunity of an apartment in Manhattan for just $563 a month, a fraction of their rent in Queens.  Of course, there was a catch. In fact, there are several.
The apartment is a co-op owned by Deb Schwartz's uncle, Ira Schwartz, who has been spending
the last six years in the psychiatric ward of one of Manhattan's premier penitentiaries.
"The apartment is a studio," said Schwartz. "So
it will be a bit cramped. And we have to visit Uncle Ira once a month."One of the oddest aspects of the deal, made with Schwartz's
grandmother Julia Schwartz, is that the couple must keep most of Ira's furniture in place,
putting their own belongings in storage."That creeps me out," said Brian Geller. "It creeps me out
a lot. Living in that crazy man's apartment is far more trouble than it's worth.
I'd rather just go on living here in Queens. Like a normal person.Also, their present lease ends July 31, but the apartment will
not be available until August 23 when Schwartz's brother, the current occupant, leaves for Israel.
"With this deal," said Schwartz, "we get a beautiful doorman
building, an Upper East Side address, and maintenance fee which is less than half our current
rent. But we also get a heap of tsoris."Geller and Schwartz hope to bounce around, sponging off friends
for the ensuing three weeks. During that time, they will be legally "of no fixed address."Geller is angry about this inconvenience, and about putting their
beloved futon into storage. But while he and Schwartz presently have enourmous debt and no income, sacrifices will have to be made.“I will swap the sofas when no one's looking,” said Geller. "And the table, too."In the meantime, the couple has been keeping their spirits up
by relating the odd story to friends, packing, and bickering with each other. |
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